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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27325246">Panic</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietlyImplode/pseuds/QuietlyImplode'>QuietlyImplode</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Rescue Me [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Domestic Avengers, Hurt Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Panic Attacks, Team as Family</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:55:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>955</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27325246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietlyImplode/pseuds/QuietlyImplode</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>‘He holds onto the struggling Russian who’s doing everything in her power to break free. She’s yelling, swearing, he’s trying to avoid her wrists, gets her into a full body hold.’</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov &amp; Avengers Team</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Rescue Me [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984783</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>79</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Panic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It starts slowly.</p>
<p>Like a prickling of her skin that turns to a crawl. Breathing gets heavier and the simple tasks seem monumental. Like getting off this bed.<br/>She doesn’t want to let Clint down tonight. She promised.</p>
<p>She promised.</p>
<p>It shouldn’t be such a hard thing to do, to have dinner with her friends. Her team mates. Men.<br/>But.<br/>It’s feeling… hard.</p>
<p>They’ve made the effort to stay away, at her request as relayed by Clint.<br/>Let her heal.<br/>…Let her hide.</p>
<p>It’s been just over a week. She should be better. She is better than this. Push through.<br/>Push harder.<br/>Her ribs, her cuts, her head all hurt. The burn marks, the bruises.<br/>She can handle this.<br/>She handled that.</p>
<p>But.<br/>Every breath feels like a gulp.<br/>Sometimes she forgets to breathe, has to take a deeper breath, turns away to wince in pain before schooling her face again.<br/>She’s supposed to be there now. Down in the kitchen, helping. Making small talk.<br/>She’s delaying.</p>
<p>‘Trus.’ Coward.<br/>The voice comes in taunting Russian.</p>
<p>They’re her friends.<br/>Get to your feet, she tells herself. Mechanically standing up.<br/>Get moving.<br/>At the door she turns the handle. Walks by telling herself to.</p>
<p>Push.<br/>Harder.</p>
<p>She makes it to the kitchen. Sees Clint’s face light up. Sees Tony standing at the stove. Steve is sitting at the bench and Bruce is chopping vegetables next to him. They’re laughing.</p>
<p>‘Slabosil’nyy.’<br/>‘Weak.’ The voice comes again.<br/>‘How dare you think you’re an avenger?’</p>
<p>She pushes open the door. Is met with greetings and a hug from Steve.<br/>“It’s so good to see you,” he says into her ear.<br/>Her skin is now on fire.<br/>She manages a smile, “Thanks.”<br/>Clint looks at her, maybe she needs to school her face better, he looks… worried.<br/>She stands next to Bruce. The doctor offers her a knife, “wanna help me?” He says, happily, “we’re making a roast!”<br/>She takes it. And feels safer.<br/>Starts to chop with him, listens to the banter of the room.<br/>Looks at the motion of the knife.<br/>Chop.<br/>Chop.<br/>Chop.<br/>.<br/>.</p>
<p>“Natasha. Stop.”</p>
<p>“Put down the knife. You’re ok. You’re safe.”</p>
<p>“She’s not hearing you, doc.”</p>
<p>“Clint, try Russian.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think that’s going to help; whatever she’s seeing; Russian isn’t going to help.”</p>
<p>“Tony, you’re closest.”</p>
<p>“Yeah and you’re the strongest. I’m not restraining her.”</p>
<p>“If you don’t, she’s gonna do more damage.”</p>
<p>“Natasha drop the knife.”</p>
<p>“Uronit’ Nozh.” Drop the knife.</p>
<p>“I thought you said Russian isn’t gonna help.”</p>
<p>“Not the time, Tony.”</p>
<p>Hesitation gone, Natasha goes for Steve first, take out the biggest threat, enough of words, enough hesitation. Throws the knife at his head, thank god he’s quick enough to avoid it.</p>
<p>Natasha uses the systema fighting style, and it tells Clint that she’s really not herself. The Russian style copying Sambo is more effective on an American who doesn’t want to hurt her at all. She manages to get him in a headlock, Clint knows what’s coming next, she’s going to try and snap his neck with either her hands or her legs. He pulls her off, receives a kick in the ribs, sending him across the room; he yells at Tony to get his fucking suit on. There’s another knife in her hand and she’s turning back to Steve, growling, he’s coughing and trying to talk her down.</p>
<p>The cacophony of sound is too much. Natasha is throwing threats in Russian, and Tony is shouting he doesn’t understand.</p>
<p>“Everyone.” Clint yells, “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.”</p>
<p>His yell, halts her movement fractionally. But it’s enough.<br/>Tony’s got his suit on, and moves for Natasha and manages to hold her. It’s not pretty.<br/>He’s glad he put the face plate on, as she goes to stab him in the neck, slit his throat.<br/>Quickly.<br/>Efficiently.<br/>Cleanly.</p>
<p>He holds onto the struggling Russian who’s doing everything in her power to break free. She’s yelling, swearing, he’s trying to avoid her wrists, gets her into a full body hold.</p>
<p>“Get me a bucket,” yells Clint to no one in particular. He moves toward the struggling duo, hands up.</p>
<p>“What!?” Tony yells, over Natasha.</p>
<p>“Fucking, get me a bucket of water.”</p>
<p>Bruce moves quick, see what’s Clint’s going for and uses <br/>the tap to fill the biggest bowl he can find.</p>
<p>Clint grabs it from his hands and unceremoniously dumps it over Natasha and Tony.<br/>It’s stops her yelling. Stops her struggling.<br/>It would be funny if they all weren’t so scared.<br/>Tony moves her away from the kitchen. Dumps her on the couch.</p>
<p>Let’s Clint move close to hold her hands. Pull them away from her body.<br/>Awareness is coming slowly. Tony can see it. Feel it in her body. Tony holds her lightly, taking the knife away.<br/>She lets it go.</p>
<p>Clint’s talking to her softly, in English, then translates it into Russian.<br/>Tony deprograms and the suit moves away, wants to say something. Anything to fill the awkwardness of this moment. Looks over at Steve and Bruce who aren’t moving.</p>
<p>Looks at Clint, who’s brushing wet hair out of her eyes, telling her exactly what’s happening. Trying to ground her.<br/>Silent tears are now on her face.</p>
<p>Tony feels like he knows those tears, ones of frustration and panic. Not being able to trust your own body.<br/>He moves from behind her, not wanting to violate her further. He wants to go, he feels like crying. Wants to leave to drown his trauma somehow. He does not want to witness this.</p>
<p>Whispers to Clint, “you ok here, man?”<br/>And ushers the other two out when Clint nods, tiredly. Not taking his eyes off her for a second.<br/>Dinners forgotten on the table.</p>
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